A Village wide manhunt was started on Thursday after concerns were raised that two Moseley and Kings Heath Councillors have just vanished. After becoming a fixture on our streets, and at our front doors in May of last year nobody can remember the last time either of them were seen. Older residents will recall the summer of 2002 when “Bangkok” Ken Hardman similarly vanished leading the police to put out a desperate call for everyone to check their sheds and garages. Ken, of course, did turn up, but chillingly refused to talk of where he had been, or what he had seen.
Moseley police were sufficiently concerned to hastily convene a press conference to highlight how serious events could be. A police representative told us “We are currently exploring a number of theories. It is possible that the Councillors took the protestations of the Council Leader, that the Government’s diminution of City Council core funding means the end of Local Government literally, and simply just knocked off early. Alternatively they’ve been taken by something or someone that preys on Councillors.
We are obviously giving more credence to the latter.”
Many people have expressed some suspicion of this more recent theory, in a practical sense how could it happen? Whilst Cllr Straker-Welds youthful innocence renders him all too susceptible to a possible puppy baiting, Cllr Trickett would pose an entirely more weighty proposition.
The police were also keen to stress that despite numerous Lib Dem Focus leaflets predicting this disappearance the party itself is not suspected as being involved, this was merely entirely legitimate prophecy.
Cllr Ernie Hendricks reinforced this point by emphatically stating “It was foretold.”
We tried to get a comment from the Moseley and Kings Heath Labour Party only to be told “The clichéd use of the old “missing” story every time a Councillor goes to Ibiza for a week only undermines the good work that you don’t see going on under the water, you know, like a duck”.