Whilst we are all to happy to laugh at the knock about antics of Somalian pirates, recent events in Moseley have been entirely more sinister. Concerns for the safety of the pirate recently stolen from the Fighting Cocks are growing with every day that he remains missing.
On a philosophical level Moseley thinkers have been forced to address the difficult concept of whether the piracy of a pirate is by its nature justice or theft. Men with beards will gather to consider this at St Columba’s Hall over the course of the next few days.
In an ill considered statement the management of the Fighting Cocks told us:-
“Of course we’re concerned that a valued part of Moseley history is missing but we know he has a history of self harm and this development is not entirely unexpected. We would like to stress that rumours of some sort of kidnap are entirely unfounded. It is completely untrue that we have been presented with a comprehensive list of demands such as improving our appalling standard of service or trying to make our food edible. Not only have those demands not been made but we wouldn’t meet them if they had. ”
We hope that anyone who has any knowledge of the whereabouts of the missing pirate to come forward and help to bring home. In many ways the timing of this sickening theft could not have been worse. Pirates are inextricably linked to the story of Jesus in much the same way as eggs and rabbits are.
We hope that the perpetrators see sense and honour this most holy of weekends.