Civilians will have noticed a host of new signs in the private park recently, giving unwanted advice about dogs, water and the metal Yttrium. This rash of new administration has hit fever pitch today, with the crazed bureaucrats approving a new scheme that takes them one step too far. In order to attract more of the “right kind of people”, and utilise the dubious assets of those undesirables who turn up like unwanted excrement in the park, the W.A.N.K.E.R.S (sic) who run the park have come up with a new two-tier system of access. The lower tier (the poor), will be forced to walk through underground tunnels being installed in the park. This will give them a ground level view of the park as they walk through. Their exertions will power the special walkway developed for the top tier of visitors (the rich). Walkway is somewhat of a misnomer for this new system of travel, as it actually consists of large, golden armchairs suspended on perspex walkways, somewhat like a monorail type device. The armchairs will then be harnessed to the poor in their tunnels. Those opposed to this environmentally conscious, socially aware, community project can voice their opinions at a meeting next month.
Other topics up for discussion include using the poor to make yoghurt and will life on other planets be rich?