We Own You

When one local resident recently gave birth to a beautiful bouncing baby boy she felt that a new exciting chapter of her life had begun. Unfortunately events took a sinister turn at the weekend when her decision to attend last years Moseley Folk Festival came back to haunt her.

Most people thought that the Festival was an innocent gathering of men with beards. The truth is entirely more worrying. No one would have thought that the conditions  of entry to Moseley Park were more exacting than any deal one could choose to make with Beelzebub himself.

Hidden in the small print it would now appear that the organisers of the festival can make claim to:-

• “All photos taken during the course of the event.
• An annual tithe in cash or equivalent goods.
• On request entrants must give up one non-life sustaining organ.
• Your first born child.”

On Saturday morning the reality of quite what she had signed away became all too apparent. She was visited at home by representatives of Moseley Folk Festival who took her only son. Complaints to the local Police proved fruitless as it would appear this is all entirely above board.

It is unclear why the organisers have been harvesting children but some claim it is to satiate Richard Thompson’s unquenchable desire for human blood.

She told us, “I’m not completely happy about my only child being eaten by an ageing folk guitarist and I’ve learnt to pay a bit more attention to the small print in the future.”

Readers should be aware that Moseley Folk Festival are likely to round later to see if you have any nice stuff.