Not wishing to be left out by the hype and panic surrounding so called Bird Flu the Moseley Park and Pool Committee have come up with a novel Easter treat for the boys and girls of Moseley. On Easter Sunday all parents are encouraged to bring their children to the private park where they will be able to gather duck eggs. In the afternoon all the eggs will be placed on a specially constructed stage where the combined children of Moseley will be made to jump up and down on them.
It is hoped that these measures will help to substantially cut down the duck population of the park. Those recent hatchlings that can’t be trodden under foot will be thrown to hungry dogs for added enjoyment. A spokesperson for the Park and Pool Committee told us yesterday “It is going to be a fun way to get children interested in infection control whilst reinforcing the strong Christian message of how Jesus (our lord and saviour) came out of a giant egg. Although we doubt the danger posed by sniffing ducks I’m only to pleased to see the back of them. I don’t like the way they look at me. I can tell they can see the things I’ve done.”
If you are not in favour of crushing ducklings then a small group will be gathering outside the park to shout “Murderers” at the children throughout Sunday afternoon.