If, like us, you have nothing better to do than make up rubbish about Birmingham suburbs, you’ll probably be wondering why “The Hogshead” has all of a sudden become “The Salisbury”, plastered in the sort of garish signs you would normally see at “The Village”.
Well, we know. As usual. Those of you who liked to frequent the Hogshead, fond of the jovial atmosphere and fine food, will be horrified to learn that those delicious meals were really composed of the remains of disguntled customers. After an anonymous tip-off, the Police raided the premises and found the bodies of two men and one woman in the cavernous cellar. They were horrified to realise that the corpses were incomplete, and upon further inspection, they realised that these missing pieces were being used to create a large “roast joint”.
This hotch potch of human parts was complimented by eyeball mash, hair gravy and testicle sprouts. The chef, a schizophrenic Bornean mulatto, was frequently fired, but his wild ways and fierce demeanour scared Managers into re-hiring him. We asked the former Hogshead management (who are the present Salmonellasbury management) if it was company policy to hire crazed cannibals to create roast dinners from the parts of local folk. They commented “I’d watch it mate…we know where you live….”.