Donald Trump may not have found the money for his wall yet but it looks like Moseley and Kings Heath Councillors have found a pile of cash to finally separate Moseley from Kings Heath. An eye watering £30,000 has been found to build a wall between Moseley and Kings Heath along the highest point of School Road. 

The decision to split the community into two was taken because  someone at a meeting once suggested that it would be a good idea. As we know many of the best ideas come from people in meetings so there seemed no rational reason why it shouldn’t be done. 

The proposal is intended to shift much of the traffic that currently uses School Road onto surrounding residential streets with much of the traffic coming from Kings Heath to be redirected to Kings Heath Primary School.  This move quite bizarrely coincides with the decision to remove School Lollipop people in an attempt to save the little cash they cost. Kings Heath Primary School is already one warden short. 

A spokesperson for the Council told us “We must stress this is just an experiment. There are many things we need to find out, do you know what happens when you force an increase in traffic into an area with a dense population of children and then remove their adult supervision? Neither do we but it should be fascinating. Our hypothesis is that some of the children will become more agile with a new found respect for the modern motor car. Some of the children might not be so lucky but that’s science.”

A professor of ethics at Birmingham University clarified  for us that in fact science generally does not involve live experiments with traffic and children. 

The Council also decided to cancel their plan to consult with local residents because there is obviously little local support for a stupidly expensive experiment dreamt up by a randomly passing man.

If you think that £30,000 might better invested in protecting children crossing roads rather than increasing the amount of traffic they need to deal with then sign our petition. All we want is the proper consultation that we were promised on numerous occasions.