Every pub needs a gimick. The Goose has scum that fight for money, the Elizabeth of York has a crap sculpture and useless staff. In order to maintain it’s prestigous position as the only pub in Moseley that doesn’t look like it came out of a box, Pat Kavanagh’s was going to have to do something pretty radical
The decision to employ a headless barman has surprised many punters but it certainly seems to be packing them in. Though what started out as a largely irresponsible exercise in reanimation has had some very expensive consequences.
In a exclusive interview with the Kavanagh Corporations publicity department we were given an insight into how a largely local pub works. “At the end of last year we noticed our month on month growth was beginning to stagnate due to increased competition in the greater Moseley area. We realised our rivals were employing attention grabbing techniques to draw in trade so we commisioned our research and development team to develop something that would seize the people of Moseley’s imagination. Initial unsuccessful experiments resulted in a rabbit with a real baby’s arm and a builder that whistles show tunes. Both were obviously useless.”
A headless barman did, at first, seem like the answer to everything but the resultant breakages and his inability to deal with stairs has lead to whole project being cancelled. It is now thought that they will once again concentrate on the Monday night quiz.