Moseley has always had a reputation as a bit of a swanky place, filled to the brim with fashionable, sexy young men and women in bizarre hairstyles. It’s these young bohemians who draw in the lovable crowds of mods and faux-hippies that we all admire so much, and give Moseley its “come one … come all” atmosphere.

But these gay young folk stand quietly today, with the news that they will no longer be able to buy fashions that reflect their liberated mindsets. No longer will they be able to buy up to the minute couture at local prices. No. Because they’ve had the fabric heart ripped from their carefree world and they don’t know who to turn to.

The finest local purveyors of fancy items, “Olive Walton” and “Samantha’s” are to close.

The owners of both stores stated :
“Without Olive there can be no Samantha…and without Samantha there can be no Olive…do you see?”

We can only speculate at the reasoning behind this sad loss. Only last February someone was seen looking in the window of Samantha’s, while as recently as April this year a woman was seen entering Olive Walton’s. With such buoyant trading we can only hazard a guess that they must have got tired of working so damn hard.

There is a silver lining to this dark tale. Slicks, for so long the retarded, deformed, stepchild of Olive and Samantha, will finally gain its chance to shine in the clothing firmament of Moseley. The owner of Slicks No.7 (or “Sucks No.7” as it is comically known) was asked to comment on the recent sad departure of the two stores, but refused. So we secretly tape recorded her and she said (whilst laughing hysterically): “Those fucks. Those punk fucks. I showed’em. I’m the daddy now. I’M THE DADDY”.

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