We’re sad to say that the mood in Moseley has turned sour after the recent shock expulsion from the national In Bloom competition. For many years Moseley, and in many ways all of us, have been defined by our ability to have hanging baskets that are marginally better than other similar sized urban districts. This year it all came crashing down around our ears when judges noticed that the majority of our in bloom contributions were actually just rather poorly drawn pictures of flowers.
One of the judges told us “I like coming to Moseley, you always seem to have massive flowers, I suppose I should have realised something was wrong when the local committee told us we couldn’t touch the flowers because touching flowers gives you cancer. I’m not a man of science but I’m pretty sure touching flowers doesn’t give you cancer, oh yes, eating burnt toast or using somebody else’s toothbrush gives you cancer but not touching flowers. So it turns out it was an elaborate hoax, you don’t have any real flowers, just pictures, and with hindsight not particularly good pictures.”
The Moseley in Bloom Committee told us “It’s a fair cop, you’ve got us bang to rights. We love winning the competition but have you ever tried to grow flowers? It’s bloody difficult. We just thought it would be easier to draw them, though with hindsight we probably should have found someone better at drawing.”
Moseley will now be looking for another annual competition that will similarly be able to serve as a local obsession.