Bring Out Your Dead
As any Moseley resident knows the two subjects that get everyone talking are old people and traffic calming measures. A recently leaked briefing from the Highways Department of Birmingham City Council shows how Moseley will shortly be at the forefront of both...
Run For Your Lives. It’s The Mayor
The Moseley Conference was recently disturbed by the shock arrival of Birmingham's Mayor. He was said to be visiting Moseley to "sort things out". There has been deep unrest within the Mayrol appartments for some time, mainly concerning Moseley's attempts to take...
Put the Kettle on There’s a Lobster
The sickening crash of broken glass woke Moseley last week after an unprovoked attack on a local restaurant. The Bistro Lyonnaise, had it's front window smashed in a reprisal attack from a previously unknown organisation that appears to campaign for the release of...
Give Us Back Our Scientists
A diplomatic storm was a brewin' last week after shock stories of kidnapping and deceit emerged. Kings Heath residents claim that individuals in Moseley have been stealing their scientists. The diabolical human trade was uncovered when Birmingham University noticed...
Road Kill
In a scene reminiscent of the seminal 70's film "Convoy" Moseley was plunged into traffic chaos over the Easter weekend. A lorry pursued by the police was only brought to a halt after the intervention of a civically minded resident. The driver, showing a lack of...
Tory Candidates Racey Dreams
Local Kingstanding resident Ken Hardman will not be the new councillor for Moseley but his dreams of world fame are still alive. After the news that Marilyn from Home and Away lookalike David Coulthard may not be able to race in the forthcoming Spanish Grand Prix, Ken...
Hippy in Lone Road Protest
Moseley was roused by the plaintive whimpering of a lone hippy on Monday morning. In a tribute to the Reclaim The Streets movement the local eco warrior, who did not want to be named, took possession of King Edward Road at about 8:30 in the morning. After realising it...
Local Man Falls Into Hole And Is Blown Up
A resident of the Sandford Rd. massive was left dead today, after he fell into a hole and was blown up. It is believed the man fell through a hole in in his kitchen floor, onto a butterfly mine. Relatives found his body in the hallway, kitchen and dining room. Police...
Christ
Moseley was rocked this week by the twin evils of religious intolerance and wanton vandalism. Early one morning some vandals erected two pieces of wood in a sort of cross formation in the centre of our newly refurbished urban living space. This act was particularly...