FUCK FCUK!
FUCK FCUK ! Local people retched up their bilious guts today, coughing greasy breakfast chunks through their sensitive nasal membranes, as partially digested beans and egg spattered on their feet. All at the prospect of watching that advert. A spokesman for the local...
Fire
Local arsonists were up in arms when the local Texaco once again ran out of fuel due to recent petrol blockades. Twice in the space of a week Texaco had to close it's doors after completely emptying it's tanks. Many arsonists had to carry their plastic bottles as far...
Gaarrgghhrmmrrghh M.A
A recent news story in the Eye highlighted the increasing inability of street drinkers to perform their limited duties correctly. The article pointed out, using the awesome power of statistics, that Moseley's favourite sentient piss posts were slurring less, smelling...
Donkey Deli Disaster
Last months petrol crisis caused many of us a level of inconvenience but local trader Mr Nima saw it as an opportunity to put into action his donkey delivery service. Realising that without transport many of us would not be able to purchase his wide selection of...
The War Begins
The continuing controvesy surrounding Moseley's newest pub has taken a sinister turn for the worst. The recent license hearing was heralded as a triumph of common sense by the moral majority of Moseley when magistrates refused the brewery permission to open a new pub....
Fighting Cocks in Swoop for Ronaldo
The Fighting Cocks entered the international transfer market today. They have been linked with an audacious deal to bring star Brazilian striker Ronaldo from Inter Milan to the Moseley pub. Rumours abound that the former world footballer of the year has been spotted...
Sign Of The Times
When professional sign makers turned up in Moseley last week we knew we were in for some sort of treat, but nobody expected what happened next. Dixons, known throughout Moseley for their striking yellow sign, and reasonably priced houses, have undergone a major...
You Take The High Road…
Civilians will have noticed a host of new signs in the private park recently, giving unwanted advice about dogs, water and the metal Yttrium. This rash of new administration has hit fever pitch today, with the crazed bureaucrats approving a new scheme that takes them...
Get Out Of Our Village
When the BBC turned up in Moseley to film episodes of Eastenders it caused the usual levels of angst and confusion. Turning our picturesque village into a suburb of East London seemed an unusual move but it thrilled the crowds of TV sycophants like ourselves who...