We Are the Law

Everyone knows that St Agnes Road is an idyllic example of urban peace. With its enormous houses and children playing in the streets you could easily be fooled that it defines the pinnacle of Moseley life that we all aspire to.

After dark, it is a very different matter.

St Agnes Road has effectively become a no-go zone. Rampant unsociable parking and the occasional raised voice have created a climate of fear in an area previously known for the gentle murmur of Band H Council Tax payers.

With the police powerless to stop the tide of crime St Agnes residents have taken matters into their own hands. Carrying out nightly vigilante patrols they now dispense an aggressive form of retribution on any unsuspecting criminals.

A representative of the St Agnes Road Residents Association told us “We’re a peaceful people. We don’t want any trouble. But we won’t be cowed by malefactors. If you come to St Agnes Road you have to obey the rules of St Agnes Road. If you’re driving down our road at 20 miles per hour, that’s fine. If you’re driving down our road at 21 miles per hour, that’s fine too, we know how to have a good time. But mark our words, if you’re driving down our road at 22 miles per hour or even 23 miles per hour, then we will respond. We will find you and we will kill you, we will kill your family, we kill your friends. We will kill the people you owe money to. We are justice. We are St Agnes Road.”

We strongly advise people to stick to Wake Green Road.